she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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