Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
