Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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