he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
