if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
