Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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