Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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