More tranny stories later!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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