i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
