very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
