bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think my moral compass just broke
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
