the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
