I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
