But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
