Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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