All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
