Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
