We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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