Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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