'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
