i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
