No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
