if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
