I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
worst night to have a conscience
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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