also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
