So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
