Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
