his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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