ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
