Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She announced her abortion via fbk
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
