Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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