Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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