..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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