just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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