my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
