thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
