Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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