It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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