I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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