ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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