don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize