How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
