Duck Duck Cougar?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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