What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
