I can text with my tongue
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
