omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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