Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
