guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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