The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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