But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
