Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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