I just made out with a guy for $7.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
