1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
