Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
