Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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