I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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