Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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