dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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