it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
